A Political Survey with a Twist
One of my readers, Don Hagan, has created a political survey. Unlike most surveys, you don't actually need to take this one to see the results. Hagan has provided the key along with the answers. Here are some of my favorites:

What is the meanest most low-down thing a person can do during a kid's soccer game?

Conservative: Cheat.

Liberal: Keep score.

Libertarian: Play the game in a municipal park.

Communist: Hog all the glory by not being a team player.

When filling out my income tax form, I prefer to discover that...
Conservative: I owe money to the IRS, because that means the government gave me an interest free loan.

Liberal: I'm getting a sizable refund from the IRS. Having a little extra income tax withheld from each paycheck is just as good as saving money in a bank, and a relatively painless, yet financially astute method of saving a sizable nest egg by the end of the year.

Libertarian: I owe the maximum amount permitted without incurring penalties.

Communist: my income is so low I owe no taxes, and qualify to receive food stamps.

Who should be required to register with local police authorities?
Conservative: - Convicted sex offenders and Communists

Liberal: - Gun owners

Libertarian: - No one

Communist: - Rabble-rousers and Clergymen

What would you consider a valid reason for releasing a convict from prison before he has served his entire sentence?
Conservative: - He is dead.

Liberal: - He is dying OR His sentence was cut in half for not committing any other notably heinous crimes while serving his current sentence OR He has found God OR A famous celebrity thinks the convict is rehabilitated.

Libertarian: - He is innocent.

Communist: - He has found Lenin.

What are your favorite slogans?
Conservative: - In God we trust.

Liberal: - Don't put profits ahead of people AND Put critters ahead of people.

Libertarian: - Do not tread on me.

Communist: - Workers of the World, unite AND Embrace groupthink AND Misery loves company.

If you read the original (and lengthy) survey, I also laughed at the liberal response to "What do you fear?"

 
 
Comments

I enjoyed the government acronyms which should be changed. Especially these two:

  BAFT Bureau of Alcohol, Firearms and Tobacco

    to

  BAFT Bureau of America's Favorite Things

and

  IRS Internal Revenue Service

    to

  IRS Income Redistribution Service

Oh, the fears were great too. Although, as a conservative, I also fear fire ants. Headed outside right now to poison millions of them. (Honest!)

Posted by: King of Fools | 03/23/2004 - 05:24 PM

This test is idiotic and fillied not only with stereotypes, but with INCORRECT stereotypes.

Prime example of the fact that ignorant and uneducated people should not try to be funny

Posted by: Dmitry Kaminsky | 04/22/2004 - 01:59 PM

When I say "Bureau of Alcohol Tobacco and Firearms" do you think I mean:

a) a Government Agency that Controls Dangerous Items

b) a Government Agency that botched the siege at Waco

c) a Convenience Store


When I say "Gun Control" do you think I mean:

a) Supervising the use of a dangerous item

b) Some liberal violating my Constitutional Rights

c) Getting a nice tight group in the center of the X-Ring

Posted by: Drew | 04/22/2004 - 06:47 PM
 
 
Send this Post
Email this entry to:


Your email address:


Message (optional):